Friday, April 6, 2018

The Keeper of Everbody's Crap

Alright women, listen up! It doesn't matter whether you are a wife, mother, grandmother or crazy aunt someone somewhere crowned us the keepers of everybody else's crap. I know that you have all seen the look. You know the one that I am talking about. The eyes glazed over, neck craning and head bobbing from side to side look for something that is right in front of them LOOK. All the while you hear in loud hurried almost angry voice," Where is my...?"

Don't get me wrong I would not trade being a wife and mother of three for anything in this world but dang could they at least try to look or even pretend to look before they automatically come to me in a panic because they cant find something. It is even more fun to interact with these crazy blind individuals when they are looking for something last minute when they have known that they needed said item for days or at least since the night before. In this instance, my husband will gladly add one of his little pearls of wisdom to the already out of hand interaction with the child, "Poor planning on your part does not constitute and emergency on mine or your mothers." I am sure that you can clearly see that this is good advice but  not very helpful in the middle of a teenage meltdown.

I was the gold standard when it came to being the keeper of the crap. When my kids were little, I taught school full-time, kept the house from falling apart, made sure they had check-ups, dentist and haircut appointments, made sure the arrived at practices on time, helped with homework, and feed them. I could still locate their favorite red shirt, locate the one missing shoe and that special toy that they misplaced last week. I could find that paper that someone laid on the kitchen counter three weeks ago. Yet, all the while keeping them alive.

Sounds great right! It sounds like I was rocking this keeper of the crap gig but the truth is I had bad case of Mommy Brain. I had managed to compartmentalize stuff that was important to my family. In my brain, that was the only thing that mattered so everything else became less important. I neglected to take care of myself and I would forget to mail bills. It wasn't that I was careless or irresponsible it was that I thought that I had to do it all and I became overwhelmed.

So mom's of littles, mom's of adult children and everything in between, I am going to share a little bit of advice with you. Kids are amazing wonderful creatures and they are capable of doing a lot more than we give them credit for being able to handle. The can help around the house, they can find their own crap and they can even be responsible for keeping up with their crap. Don't let being the keeper of the crap be a full time job. Stop, take a breath and enjoy this crazy beautiful messy life!

It also doesn't hurt to have an awesome husband or partner in crime to help you survive being the keeper of the crap but don't expect them to be able to locate missing items.

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