Thursday, April 23, 2020

Trying to Be Better at Life

Trying to Be Better at Life

I am not exactly sure where to start with this post. It has been several months since I have written anything at all. I have been having a little pity party for myself the last few days/weeks. Sometimes life just gets overwhelming. Some people like me are in the thick of life raising teens and young adults, taking care of a household, caring for aging parents, and a whole host of other obligations that are priorities in their lives not to mention just trying to keep their head above water. Time, energy and attention seem to be at a premium and constantly in high demand. It seems that there is not enough of me to meet everyone's needs. 

My mother suffers from dementia. Some people fully understand the implications of this statement, yet others have no idea of the magnitude to which this impacts every aspect of  our lives. From the outside looking in you might see someone that is a little more quiet than usual, or someone that can't remember where they put their glasses or can't seem to remember the conversation that you just finished but that is only a snapshot into the life of a dementia patient and their caregivers.

Well meaning people often ask about my mother. They say things like," I saw your mom and she always seems to know who I am." Sorry, she has absolutely no freaking idea who you are. She is a master at faking small talk. This is her attempt to hide the fact she doesn't know you and is terrified that you are acting so familiar in her personal space. 

Friends  and family always ask how my mother is doing. My oldest daughter has a lot trouble with this question. You see the polite answer is that she is doing alright. My go to answer is we have good days and bad days but some how that does not even come close to answering this loaded question. People don't want to hear the truth, they just want to go on about their business as usual. It is really okay, because things are different, things are hard, and the reality is that as bad as it is now it is only going to get worse. But as for me, I am going to continue to praise Him in this storm.

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